It is not uncommon for men or women to complain to a psychologist that they once again stepped on the same rake and stumbled upon a partner who spoiled their nerves. And according to the same scheme that has already happened more than once – as if some kind of curse. And the expert explains that these are all untreated injuries.
What did the psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky mean? Often people choose a partner based on some internal attitudes. And they set up pretty early. For example, if in childhood, before the eyes of a baby, parents constantly quarreled, raised their hands at each other and generally behaved ugly, then the child, and then a completely adult person, will believe that love is manifested in this way.
Someone understands that there is a problem, and goes to sort it out with a psychotherapist. And someone does not see the problem. For him, such relationships – with broken dishes and knuckles – are a complete norm. They are bright, full of emotions and not boring at all.
It happens that a person grew up in an ordinary family, but then got into an unpleasant relationship. It could be a lover of domestic violence or just a partner with a difficult character, the break with which turned into a nightmare. Such a case can also cause injury, which is then better to get rid of with a specialist.
Therefore, in order to stop “running into goats” and “stepping on the same rake”, Labkovsky advised breaking the pattern of such co-dependent relationships with alcoholics, abusers, narcissists and sociopaths, understanding yourself and understanding that you deserve better.
Sometimes it’s impossible to figure out a dubious partner right away, but even after a couple of months of a relationship, when he reveals all the cards, you can still run away from him. Relationship expert Alderson told you where to look and what to look for in order to get to the bottom of a toxic guy or girl early.